


come and fade me

by demauryss



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Grocery Shopping, His words, Huge Idiots, M/M, Mutual Pining, also eliott's like pretty gone, also lucas's words, and eliott's a dumbass, but what's new, did i mention they're idiots?, lucas is a smartass, they suck at communication
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2020-09-01 06:04:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20253364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demauryss/pseuds/demauryss
Summary: And no matter how many times he repeats the same lines over and over again till he runs out of reasons to support why dating should be banned (it's a lie; Lucas will never run out of reasons for this purpose, he just gives in to the looks the boys - or Eliott - throw at him) that his friends understand his struggles, his pleas for them to stop. And always, like clockwork, he ends in having them set him up with an unknown guy.or, Lucas is tired of going on dates after dates with guys that aren't Eliott, and Eliott has a few tricks up his sleeves.





	1. part i

**Author's Note:**

> catch me start another project and add it onto my pile of wips
> 
> title from "hurricane" by halsey 
> 
> [tumblr post](https://demauryss.tumblr.com/tagged/fade%20me)
> 
> happy reading!

There are many things in the universe that suck. The last episode of the last season of your favourite show (and the realization of not knowing whether it will be back or not). Having the corner coffee shop run out of your favourite milk tea and, of course, the worst of them all, dating.

Dating, if you ask Lucas, is the second to worst thing life can throw at him. It's close to terrible, like the-taste-a-burned-meal-can-leave-on-your-tongue terrible. He doesn't get the purpose of dating, despite the countless sessions his friends have spent explaining the method.

And to top it all off, there is this absolutely horrendous and pathetic thing, that god forsaken app called Tinder. Lucas thinks it's an abomination to humanity, its creation being the least level humans can fall to. (Of course there's much serious stuff than that, Lucas knows. He's being a drama queen as usual.)

And no matter how many times he repeats the same lines over and over again till he runs out of reasons to support why dating should be banned (it's a lie; Lucas will never run out of reasons for this purpose, he just gives in to the looks the boys - or Eliott - throw at him) that his friends understand his struggles, his pleas for them to stop. And always, like clockwork, he ends in having them set him up with an unknown guy.

Like now.

"Have you seen his profile picture Yann? That's a horse."

Lucas doesn't know whether Basile is calling the guy whose profile they're looking at a horse or a hoax. Either way, he can't be any less bothered because he knows in the end it's either going to be him getting stood up or the guy being not interested enough. (Out of all eight dates he went on, the former has happened five times and the remaining three times go to the latter.)

"At least it's not a frog!" Arthur says, making Basile mutter something unintelligent about the last horse Lucas went on a date with.

The guys have a scale: a frog, a horse or a hoax, with the frog being on the extreme left and the hoax being extreme right. Their needles keep moving back and forth while they search for a guy to set Lucas up with, deliberately ignoring his opinions because they know Lucas is as useful as a rock for this process. (Lucas can't be more thankful for not being asked to put in his two cents.)

Now, a frog is someone whose description consist of useless boasting. A horse, being on the middle of the scale, is someone who is kind of okay (when the boys deem it) and seems normal. A hoax, well, is the person whose profile picture consists of someone who can be a well off model, and Lucas tries to steer the guys away from such persons because he knows they're, well, a hoax. (A lie, again, because Eliott Demaury is as real as they can be.)

That's how the boys label the guys they come across. Lucas, on the other hand, has an entirely different scale, the three a's: arrogant, annoying and awful.

(Out of the eight days he has gone on and only three guys actually showed up, one was arrogant, one was awful and the third was a weird mix of all three.)

"What do you think about him Lucas?"

Basile chimes, seeming proud of his selection while turning his phone screen towards him. Lucas can feel a budding of 'I don't care' on his lips, the bubbling annoyance seeping through the layers of indifference he has put up. He stops himself the last moment. He sighs, wishing Eliott was here to save himself from their onslaught. But in the end he knows Eliott would have been the reason Lucas would have agreed to another blind date.

But he doesn't need Eliott to make regrettable decisions, Lucas concludes while giving his consent. He can be an idiot without him anyway.

\---

Eliott: i'm ten minutes away. do you need anything?

Lucas: some sanity if you will

and a milk tea please

Eliott: lucas-

Lucas: eliott-

i have no idea what to wear

Eliott: give me ten minutes

Lucas: :(((

Eliott: ☕️

Lucas: :))))

\---

Eliott Demaury, according to Lucas, is a bundle of warmth. Like the nucleus of a radioactive atom, he's always radiating energy, affection, and you can't help but feel happiness whenever he's around you.

At least, Lucas can't.

The phenomenon of physics he just compared Eliott with, Lucas knows Eliott gives too much of himself away to the people he loves. Slowly waning away with time and fighting against nature, Lucas knows Eliott loves the most and as a result hurts ten times worse. And it's this thought, Eliott hurting in ways Lucas can't comfort him from, that leaves Lucas's heart scraping some of its tissue off of it, pieces of it dying and through the currents in his blood, getting distributed in his body, incorporating like dust in stars and iron in haemoglobin.

It's not why Lucas feels calm despite how hardly his heart beats against his chest and nerves swirl in his stomach when he gets ready to go on the date the guys set him up, but he knows a part of it has something to do with Eliott, and how he's currently lounging on his bed, almost melting into the spread. He arrived ten minutes ago with Lucas's trusty supply of milk tea, a knowing glint in his eyes when he saw Lucas's disheveled form and anxious face and nails almost bitten to the stub.

Lucas's heart thrums in his ears, his inhibitions rising from his stomach to the tips of his fingers as well as his limbs, forcing his legs to freeze over the floor when he stands in front of the open cupboard.

Rhythmic clipping of pen is the only sound filling Lucas's ears besides the beating of his heart. Eliott's going over Lucas's English essay, correcting mistakes he must have made. Begrudgingly he pulls out a black pollo shirt, the kind you'd expect Harry Styles to wear and absolutely rock. But knowing Lucas, he'll probably look like a big potato, ugly enough to put off any guy.

"Eliott, what do you think of this shirt?"

And the look Eliott gives tells him he sees right through his bullshit. His eyebrows rise up questioningly, and Lucas feels exposed under his gaze.

"Wear the blue one. The plain blue, not that hawaiian shirt." He instructs, quickly adding the last part as if he knew which shirt Lucas would pick. Lucas tries not to think any of it, Eliott knowing the working of his brain, and takes out the plain blue shirt.

"You do realize the purpose of dating is to actually put in some effort?"

Eliott's properly sitting on the bed now, surrounding by books and looking expectantly at Lucas. Lucas sighs, plopping down at the edge of the bed, digging the heels of his palm in his eyes. His head is aching, and he is already dreading the date ahead.

"What's the difference?" Lucas sighs, choosing to look at his feet instead of Eliott's hopeful gaze. "They're either going to be too far up their asses to actually show up and if they do come, who's to say if they're going to be interested in me?"

"You'll never know until you try." Eliott says, landing a hand on his shoulder and gently patting, "And if you don't feel comfortable, you can always call or text me. I'll think of an excuse to get you out of there."

It makes Lucas heart twist harshly in his chest, stomach coming up to his mouth and hands shaking in his lap. He nods quietly, feeling dejected and angry all at once. Dejected for thinking Eliott might have tiny, or even subliminal feelings for Lucas, and angry for letting himself think that.

Because in the same way as this, causing Lucas to go on dates numerous times before, Eliott has shown just how much of Lucas's unrequited feelings does he really reciprocate.


	2. part ii

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this just gained another part. i'm sorry i couldn't hold myself. the next part will be in eliott's pov
> 
> hope you like it. comments and kudos are always appreciated.
> 
> [tumblr post](https://demauryss.tumblr.com/tagged/fade%20me)
> 
> happy reading xx

Lucas's date, for the lack of a better word, is plain boring.

They're at some restaurant called _Le Couloir_, and Lucas hasn't wished of being anywhere else so badly in his life before. Hell, even the backyard in his childhood home in the middle of a heat wave seems a better place to be than this very building he's currently at.

His date did show up, a surprisingly lean guy with a smile to make the sun jealous of its brightness. Had the situation been any different, Lucas would have a hundred percent be attracted to the guy, now known as Gabriel. But for some reason, Lucas can't bring himself to concentrate on Gabriel's beauty, or his power smile, or the grace he carries himself with.

Lucas just can't bring himself to push Eliott out of his mind.

And what sucks is that Gabriel is very gentle and an extremely nice person. He doesn't fall on either of the scales the boys and him have. Lucas makes a mental note to appreciate the boys later for choosing a decent person for his date for the first time ever. Any person will be lucky to have him.

But Lucas feels his words getting suffocated by the air around him when Gabriel stops telling Lucas about his academic career, steering the conversation towards Lucas.

"I still have a couple months before I graduate school," Lucas tells him, drinking the juice he offered, now regretting the choice because at least alcohol would have helped him cut some of the awkwardness he was feeling. Now, Lucas isn't an awkward person. He's anything but. He just isn't in his element, he thinks, swallowing thickly. It's all due to his over excited friends, that terrible app and the oblivious, oblivious person better known as Eliott Demaury who's probably lying on Lucas's comfortable bed.

He regrets not ordering alcohol now, previously under the impression that maybe keeping his head clear and staying as far away from alcohol as possible would help him feel the spark between him and his date (if there were any) but all he feels right now is dread crawling up his stomach and a desperate need to run miles, miles away.

And when it all gets too much; when his legs become restless and refuse to stay unmoving and his stomach comes to his throat and he almost pukes, he stands up.

"I- I need to use the bathroom."

He's stammering, and bless Gabriel, he doesn't say anything if he notices. And when the smile pulls up his face, Lucas knows he doesn't. He gives Gabriel a tight lipped smile, and slips quietly to the bathroom stall, his mind running.

_And if you don't feel comfortable, you can always call or text me. I'll think of an excuse to get you out of it._

And that's what Lucas does, quickly taking out his mobile phone as his back rests against the wall.

**Eliott**

_kill me now_

He gets a reply almost in an instant.

**that bad huh??**

_the WORST_  
_and he's actually so nice i don't know what to do_  
_i don't want to break his heart :(_

Lucas feels his palms getting sweaty as bile rises up his throat.

**lucas lallemant, hedgehog of hedgehogs, king of procrastination, lover of milk tea, now breaker of hearts eye-**

_quit copying game of thrones and think of an excuse to get me out of here!!_

**call you in ten minutes**

Lucas puts away his phone safely in his pocket and makes his way over to where Gabriel is sitting, trying his best to not show the distress on his face. It brings him to a conclusion that Gabriel's pretty oblivious - kind of like someone he knows. He pushes the thought out of his mind, Gabriel isn't at fault here. But still he can't help but think that if Eliott were here with him, he would have noticed that something wasn't right the minute they sit together.

Gabriel tries to engage Lucas in mindless conversation, and Lucas can't will the clock to tick by any faster. It's pathetic how time slows down when you want it to speed up and speeds up when you want it to stop. Ten minutes is a long, excruciating pain. And Lucas can tell he hasn't gone through anything more painful.

And when he thinks he's just about to combust, his phone starts ringing. Lucas almost jumps, and seeing Eliott's name flashing on the screen does little to calm him down.

"I have to take this." He says to Gabriel who nods politely. Lucas doesn't get up, because if it's what Lucas thinks it is, he needs Gabriel to see it too.

And his stomach feels terrible for doing this to Gabriel.

"Hello?" He hears a quiet 'play along' and Eliott's voice fills the speaker.

"Maggie is in the hospital."

And Lucas wants to laugh, but he forces panic to flash over his face and voice all high pitched. He tells him, keeping up the facade, that he'll be there soon. Eliott chuckles quietly, the sound like music to Lucas's ears.

Gabriel's looking concerned, and Lucas feels terrible. "Sorry I've gotta go. My...uh-aunt is in the hospital."

And Gabriel's nodding, "Yeah, sure. Do you want me to co-"

"No, no! I can't have you ruining your evening for me!" Lucas is getting up, leaving some money on the table.

"You don't have t-"

Gabriel starts, but Lucas cuts him off again, "I want to." It's the least he can do anyways.

And he's leaving, Eliott's text lighting up his mobile screen. _I'm here_. And Lucas has never rushed so fast in his life, ever. Stepping into the night, he searches for the tall guy, eyes zoning in on everyone who walks by.

"Hey." Lucas turns his head, finding Eliott's eyes as he smiles down at him. Lucas gives a smile of his own, seeing Eliott somehow lifting his mood. They start walking, step falling into harmony with each other.

"You couldn't have thought of any name besides my dead fish?"

Lucas looks up to him. His eyes are caught in starlight, and his smile almost blinds Lucas. The night's silent for any other person who's out right now, but for Lucas it's filled with the symphonies of Eliott, his eyes, his warmth.

"Give me a break," he chuckles, "I got you out of there."

And Lucas sighs, feeling horrible all over again. Lying had never come easy to him, but somehow spending time with Eliott he had trained himself to lie as a professional.

"I feel horrible."

Eliott drapes an arm over his shoulder, steering him away from the direction of the bus stop. "Come with me," he says, biting down on his lip, "I know something that will cheer you up."

* * *

Five minutes and Lucas incessantly annoying Eliott to tell him where he's taking him, they stand in front of a 24 hour grocery store. Lucas can't say he's surprised, Eliott's known to come up with weird ideas.

"A grocery store? That's your idea for cheering me up?"

And Eliott smiles shyly, lips curving up like petals Lucas badly wants to touch to feel their softness. "Groceries are fun!"

Well, Lucas doesn't think that. His anxious ass always forgets to make a list and then proceeds to have a crisis in the middle of the store. "I don't agree with you."

"Then I'll have to change your mind."

The statement knocks out a laugh from Lucas. Eliott has never been looked this sure before. And for his sake, Lucas agrees.

"Okay then. Lead the way."

They pick out a shopping cart and Eliott starts moving it towards the sweets aisle, making Lucas stop him. He moves the cart towards left, where the vegetable section stands.

"Mama always says essential firsts."

An adorable pout falls over Eliott's delicate features and Lucas laughs, almost giving in. They move through the various displays of vegetables, and Lucas is made to force Eliott into picking up broccoli, cabbage and cauliflower, despite of the taller boy complaining how much he hates these darned things.

And Lucas would have never guessed that picking vegetables from a grocery store at nine in the night would make him this happy. Still he finds himself laughing away with Eliott; to his dumb salad dressing and tomato ketchup jokes; and to Eliott's various anecdotes about his life at college.

Thing is, Lucas met Eliott in his second year at school, when Daphné asked him to paint the mural in the common room. He didn't know she had recruited another person for the job as well. Lucas wouldn't have guessed this person - who was at that time making Lucas feel unintentionally stupid with his art knowledge - to mean so much to him in such a little time. And after that Eliott had quickly become woven into his life and a part of his circle, making Lucas fall in love with him at the pace of honey dripping from spoon.

Eliott doesn't know of his feelings, nor does he feel the same way about him (Lucas kind of guessed this) and if buying groceries with him after a terrible date is as close as Lucas will get to him in terms of being a couple, then so be it.

Lucas much to his surprise, see little showers beginning to spurt water over the vegetables. "Eliott what's happening?"

Eliott smiles down at him, "They do this. It's a mini rain, to keep the vegetables fresh."

And Lucas can definitely say he hasn't seen or heard anything like this before. He's still processing the information when a particularly loud sound of booming thunder echoes through the store, making him let out a yelp and cling to Eliott's arm.

His chuckle fills Lucas's ears, and he feels his blood rushing to his cheeks, warming up the area. "Don't worry, it's just recorded sound for added effect."

They drag the cart out of the section, Lucas still holding Eliott's arm. Thunders scare him, more than the dark does.

Lucas lets go of Eliott's arm when they reach the next aisle: sweets. A smile cracks Eliott's lips when he sees Lucas still shaken up. The latter softly nudges the taller guy, not keeping the smile off his face. "Shut up and do your work!"

Eliott practically sweeps all the chocolates in the racks in the cart, and if it wouldn't have been for Lucas chiding him once every two seconds about his teeth rotting and the always present threat of diabetes, Eliott would have bought all the store's supply of chocolate. Seriously, the boy consumed his chocolates like water.

"You already have two bars of sneakers! You won't have your teeth to eat them if you buy all that!"

"But Lucas-"

"Eliott, no!"

Eliott's whines fill the air as they move out of the section. Lucas hasn't let him buy more than two chocolates from each kind. He keeps complaining that Lucas was keeping him from his fuel. He chuckles, reaching up on his tiptoes to smooth the lines which have formed over Eliott's forehead.

"It's your fault. You decided to bring me with you."

From his position, Lucas can see the clear green in Eliott's eyes, noticing how his pupils have scattered pigments of colours like small stars forming their own galaxies and universe Lucas so badly wants to visit. Eliott's face softens as Lucas moves back, a soft smile playing tentatively on his lips.

"And what do you think?"

He knows Eliott's asking him about the thing he said earlier. _I'll have to change your mind_. Lucas shrugs.

"The thunder part wasn't fun. But seeing you so worked up over a bar of chocolate that I didn't let you take is!"

Eliott's smile never leaves his lips. "So you admit it's fun?"

"Very." Lucas smacks his lips together, "Honestly, you need to start seeing someone so I can warn them about your terrible ideas for cheering up people."

Lucas is joking and of course Eliott knows that. A soft smile is grazing his lips, a first drop of rain landing softly on the ground. "But there's no one else I'd want to cheer up. Except for you."

And Lucas's heart might as well jump out of his chest because it's beating with so much force Lucas fears Eliott's able to hear it from his position. Forgetting they're standing in the middle of a grocery store, Lucas revels in the softness upon Eliott's face. Seriously, how can he say this stuff and look like that and not expect Lucas to fall for him harder than before.

"Um--thank you?"

Eliott chuckles at Lucas's reply, the light from the bulb above them catching in his eyes. "C'mon. We've still got a lot of things left."

So they move to the next aisle after aisle, with Eliott dragging the cart and Lucas walking on next to him, hands buried safely in the pockets of his jeans. Lucas fears if he doesn't do that then it will be a lot harder to stop himself from tracing Eliott's features with his fingers, and think about how his skin will feel under the graze of his fingers; the ridges of his jaw and the smooth of his cheek.

Their shoulders brush countless times, and Eliott stops to pick up two different kinds of cereals from the display.

"You don't like the other one," Lucas says, eyebrows raised in concentration.

"But you do," Eliott replies, eyes dancing and mouth curving just enough, "it's for when you stay over. I think I'm done having forcing you to eat my cereal when you clearly don't like it."

And Lucas's heart almost jumps at the thought that Eliott noticed his dislike. "Well, thank you then."

Same goes for other things as well. Eliott likes plain yoghurt but Lucas likes strawberry flavoured. So Eliott buys both. Lucas, being the dramatic queen he is, has complained several times before at Eliott's about how he always feeds him heated frozen food whenever Lucas comes over. Eliott reminds him of this while filling his cart with necessary food.

"You always complain about my eating habits, so you'll have to make me a pizza from scratch when we get home."

Home. Lucas thinks about it when they're checking out. Home, Lucas's brain hangs on to the word. One _h_ then _o_ then _m_ then _e_. It annunciates round and round when the old lady behind the counter looks at them with her kind eyes brimming with an emotion Lucas pinpoints but he can't somehow bring himself to correct her when she says, "Enjoy the rest of your night."

Eliott thanks her and Lucas nods, helping him by holding two bags in his arms while Eliott takes the rest. From the eye of an outsider, Lucas believes they may look like a couple doing their groceries together, and it may seem like Eliott and Lucas are the couple because of how close they're walking, and how much their shoulders brush together, and how Lucas looks at Eliott like he's the reason the skies look so pretty.

Damn Lucas if his heart doesn't go haywire at the thought of doing this every other week or month with Eliott, in their own shared apartment and after which they both attempt to cook a meal together. Lucas almost can see this happening, feeling his world stop for a moment._ Eliott and Lucas; Lucas and Eliott; EliottLucas; LucaElio....._

But the earth still turns and the night lovers sing their songs and the stars still shine, and Lucas still believes.

If Lucas believes hard enough, it can almost happen. If Lucas believes hard enough, it's true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr: [@demauryss](https://demauryss.tumblr.com)


	3. part iii

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> blame harry styles for fucking me up and this turning out more angsty than i planned it to be.
> 
> [tumblr post](https://demauryss.tumblr.com/tagged/fade%20me)
> 
> happy reading!

Eliott Demaury excels at many things: he gets the perfect grades on his college assignments and tests; he gets the badge of best child stamped on his chest as his younger sister broods in annoyance; he also gets stamped with the best person and friend out there when Lucas Lallemant calls him in the middle of the night - or, in the middle of his less than stellar date - and Eliott gets him out of his misery.

But that's about it.

So yeah, while Eliott may excel at a few things; he also sucks at many more things than that. The foremost being letting his feelings out.

It's funny, considering when he was a little older than the day he had his twelfth birthday, his teacher gave him an award for _vocalising what he feels and thinks in the best way_ on a paper he had to write for his French class. And now, if you ask how he feels, Eliott can only string a two-word sentence which is filled with many grammatical errors. His body may have progresses over the years: he may have grown taller, he may have more muscles on his body than before and he certainly, _certainly_ feels much stronger things than before but his communication skills have  
fucking declined and his brain has also regressed.

So much for evolution.

But then he remembers Lucas and the way his shoulders hunch up when Eliott's got him. How the enormity of the universe in his eyes tumbles down the wall he puts up whenever something like this happens and Eliott becomes something other than _"I-love-you-Eliott"._

(Sometimes Eliott is the "_thank-you-Eliott_" from Lucas's numb voice laced with sleep and the feelings he would have let out. Sometimes he is "_you're-the-best-Eliott"_ when he'd bring Lucas some milk tea from his favourite store and on days like these, when they're lying on Eliott's couch with legs burning with the accumulated lactic acid from their walk back from the store when he hears this, a small whisper of his name: "_you-don't-have-to-do-this-Eliott",_ and Eliott thinks, _he thinks_. His mind goes foggy and his heart picks up and he feels a sting disturbingly familiar to what he calls a heartburn. And Eliott thinks _he'd do anything for Lucas_.)

Eliott's the _"I'll-be-okay-Eliott" _now, trying to boil the water for the pasta, speed-dialling his mother (funny, too, the best child cannot even cook to save his life). The call keeps going to voicemail, making Eliott think (you do that a lot when you're Eliott Demaury: you think about stuff that is not even worthy of it, and when you reach the conclusion, your brain suddenly dies and you make everything worse.)

In his turmoil, Eliott doesn't notice Lucas leaning on the counter behind him. Feet bare and eyes guarded and mouth hitching slightly.

"Go on," he says, running a hand through his hair, "Let it out."

Lucas lips move a fraction, eyes catching the dim light of Eliott's kitchen. The bulb has been acting up for a while, and if it weren't for the way Lucas keeps looking in this very light, Eliott would have changed the bulb long ago.

"I'm trying not to." Lucas replies, hands resting against his chest, folded across each other. "I can't bear another one of your pouty looks, but for the record," he pauses dramatically. Eliott holds his breath, something about vines growing in the area carrying his lungs and reducing their capacity. "you're a dumbass and I told you so."

Lucas breaks into a full grin, and Eliott almost dies (you do that a lot again when you're Eliott Demaury and Lucas Lallemant is standing in front of you). Lucas moves to stand beside him, hands resting a few millimetres away from Eliott's.

"Do you still not want my help? I'm offering again only if you reconsider your answer."

Eliott, defeated, sighs, moving away from the stove - and Lucas - providing space for Lucas to stand in front of the counter. "There you go, smartass."

"Thank you." Lucas smiles, eyes crinkling and lips pulled across his teeth. Eliott's stomach catches on fire - no, Eliott feels an army of elephant stomping inside. His heart beat picks up dramatically, and he manages a soft one back.

"What are you going to make?"

Eliott watches as Lucas turns down the stove, placing the pan aside and turning so his back rests against the counter. The dim light of the kitchen casts a shadow upon Lucas, and Eliott remembers not to change the bulb ever again.

"I believe you made me promise to make you a pizza."

Eliott remembers how Lucas's body sagged with the weight which seemed to drown him to the ground. He remembered the shadows of doubt and sadness upon Lucas's face, the darkness under his eyes and how he trailed slowly behind Eliott, his body quiet, limbs heavy, and - Eliott guesses - brain overloaded with thoughts.

It physically hurt him to see Lucas like that.

"I did, yeah."

And like Eliott had been doing since he met Lucas, he tried to do everything in his power to make sure Lucas wasn't sad. He didn't know whether it worked or not, if he was able to lighten Lucas of his burden, but he knew he couldn't let Lucas leave and stay at his apartment all on his own. Eliott knew Lucas would probably drown his feelings with alcohol, drinking too much than his body can carry, and proceed to have a killer hangover tomorrow.

So Eliott decided to do the next best thing on his mind: have Lucas stay at his home with a promise that Lucas will cook him food.

"So that's what I'm going to make."

Lucas works methodically in kitchen, Eliott notices. Unlike at the grocery store where his steps felt heavy and dreadful, there's an energy to Lucas now, drawing in Eliott more than before, making him get caught in his feelings all over again. It starts something in him, deep in his bones, making his chest feel funny and stomach in all types of knots that you can imagine.

And that's what Lucas Lallemant does to him, you see. With his hair which have a mind of their own, and a smile enough to light up every dark alley Eliott feels trapped in, and his laugh - fuck, don't get him started on his laugh.

But it's not limited to the physical traits - the feelings Eliott developed for Lucas when he still didn't know what life meant for him. Lucas's big heart and his kind self are as much guilty of drawing Eliott in as much as his laugh, or his eyes. The energy that Lucas radiates, his need to make everyone around him feel better - even if it doesn't include Lucas's own self in the slightest way - and the ends he goes to whenever Eliott needs him - all of these are the reasons why Eliott fell in love with him. They are the reasons why Eliott keeps falling for him every second, every bit they spend together.

If only he could tell Lucas that - and if only Lucas could see that.

And while it leaves Eliott's chest burning with a fire started by his own self; leaves his stomach hurting, brain filled with so much thoughts that it becomes hard to concentrate - it also leaves him with something which fills his insides with warmth, his stomach with bubbling happiness. And it's something he'll hold onto forever.

So he stays quiet, watching Lucas mixing the dough for the bread. He stays quiet, because if speaking up means letting go of the warmth he's surrounded by, getting out of the light into the dark once again, letting go of _Lucas_ \- and when they're lying on the couch with his legs in Eliott's lap and Lucas's head resting safely between the crook Eliott's neck and shoulder form, and they're laughing at the movie playing and something, somewhere in his brain tells him that these fleeting moments are only when he'll get to be closer to Lucas - Eliott thinks, and _he thinks_ if speaking means giving this up, then he's ready to stay quiet for the rest of his life.

\---

Eliott Demaury ends up going on a date, is the thing.

It happens impulsively, and Eliott finds no control over the situation he's forced into. (And that also happens a lot when you're Eliott Demaury and Lucas Lallemant is standing in front of you.)

But you see, he can't say no to Lucas. Not ever. So when they meet days after Lucas's failed date (his words) over the promise of beer and weed and Lucas's better music taste (also his words) and Lucas is drunkenly complaining how Eliott doesn't _put himself out_ for people to see how amazing he is - Eliott shakes his head at that, and something in his stomach recoils, licking his insides harshly - and then Lucas looks at him with the ocean swimming in his eyes, drowning he in. And it's how Eliott agrees - _I'll go on a date, okay? _\- and something falls over the ocean he's looking at, covering it up - and Eliott feels a light being switched off inside them - but playing it as a trick of light, Eliott lets it go.

Okay. Lucas clinks his bottle with Eliott's, leaning to his side. And as Lucas moves, puts the joint between his lips, inhaling, chest rising, Eliott feels it - ribs constricting, heart thudding - the hopelessness coming from the realization that Lucas will never look at him with the same way.

So as Eliott sits across a tall blonde girl in a crowded and really overpriced restaurant, awkwardness pulling him in and far far away from his current physical state, he realizes how Lucas might feel when the guys (and often him) persuade him just like Lucas convinced him to do this.

And as he feels his tissues dissolving in his blood with the annoyance which grips him when the girl _just won't shut up _and they're leaving the restaurant - Eliott turns to her, speaking the excuse he rehearsed many times before.

"Look, I had a good time-" _cringe_ "- you're great, but I don't think I-"

Eliott's gulps the words down, wishing he had Lucas's heart and his kindness. And yeah, sometimes it's not okay to leave someone hanging, but sometimes it's fucking better than this....turmoil.

The girl smiles, like she gets him. So they part ways with the promise of _no hard feelings,_ and as the night descends darkly, Eliott takes out his phone, fingers hovering over the name etched into his heart.

_can i come over?_

The reply is instant, glaring at him in the dull night, and it feels like - like Lucas has already typed the response.

**of course.**

\---

The door is staring at him, and when Eliott lightly knocks - a lesson he learned after too much alcohol and Mika's passive aggressive comments later - it opens moments later, and Lucas stands in front of him.

"Hey," His hair is as wild as Eliott remembers, and his eyes are much too bright. Eliott notices the tiredness etched on his skin in the form of dark bags under his eyes, and he feels the familiar cramping in his stomach once again.

Lucas steps aside, allowing Eliott to move in. His hands are buried in his pockets, and as Lucas pulls at his sleeves, holding him into place, Eliott turns around quickly, falling straight into the arms Lucas has opened for him. Lucas wraps his arms around Eliott's waist, holding on tightly and Eliott's own wrap around Lucas's neck, face burying into the small space. Eliott feels Lucas's smell overcoming his senses, eyes closing, and he feels an instant calm wash over him.

"Want to stay like this for a while?"

It's Lucas who asks that - small hands scratching the back of his shirt, sending ripples through his entire body. Eliott nods, heart beating so fast he's afraid it'll burst through his chest, "Yes."

\---

"I just want to have a talk with the person who thought dating was a good idea."

Lucas is laying on his bed, body facing Eliott, head propped up on his hands. Eliott sits on the floor, his head resting on the bed next to Lucas's face. He's watching, fixed, as Lucas lays down reasons why dating should be banned- eyes wild, holding all the universe in them.

Eliott smiles when Lucas dramatically sighs, folding his arms under his head. Lucas keeps the scowl on his face, "No, I don't get it how someone, like, out of the blue came up with this brilliant idea like _hey, why don't people pair up and involve feelings and do romantic shit like have dinner together_ and everyone around them was like _wig_."

Eliott laughs, butterflies in his stomach, chest light and airy. Lucas frowns at him, and Eliott despite himself moves forward to smooth the lines on Lucas's forehead. The lights play trick on him, and so does his mind, because Eliott can swear Lucas's breathing stops.

"But weren't you the one who told me that we should put ourselves out there?"

Lucas huffs, moving closer so his lies in line with Eliott's, "Yeah but, without the feelings part. That shit is so glorified - like you're friends with someone, you spend time with the said someone. And everyone around you suddenly thinks that you have feelings for them. Like why do people need to complicate everything?"

Eliott feels a pang in his chest, ants swarming in his belly. His throat feels heavy, but he can't bring himself to tear his eyes away from Lucas's. He just can't. So he nods, not finding the words. Lucas does that for him.

"But I know I can be wrong. This is just my experience speaking."

Eliott finds it himself to smile at that, "You mean the experience from your less-than-stellar-dates you were forced to go to?"

Lucas nods, smiling from ear to ear as Eliott remembers his exact words. The sight does things to Eliott, unfurling warmth inside him. He has half a mind to just lean over and close all the space between them. But like always, the other half remains winning.

"I don't think it should be like that," Eliott starts, eyes averting, voice dwindling to a whisper. Eliott feels Lucas's eyes bore into him, and he plays with a lint on the bed sheet, not looking up, "Dating should be about spending time with the person you like, you know? And it shouldn't be forced, at all. Like, it should only happen when you're ready, right?" Eliott looks up for a moment, and Lucas is looking at him, in him, and Eliott feels exposed.

"Right," Lucas starts, voice mirroring Eliott's, "We should ditch other people and just go on a date together. I'm sure it'll be far more enjoyable even if we lay in pyjamas and eat junk food."

And it's safe to say that Eliott feels his heart colliding against his ribcage. He feels an ember of hope getting ignited in his stomach. He feels Lucas's fears, and he feels his own. And it's enough to prevent him from making any assumption about Lucas's suggestions.

"I'm afraid you won't think that after I'd actually take you on that date."

Lucas raises his head, and Eliott moves to lie next to him. The soft material of the covers graze his skin, and as Lucas's gaze remain fixed on him, Eliott feels his skin tingling with warmth. "Oh really? Where will you take me? Enlighten me, Eliott Demaury."

Eliott smiles as Lucas lie downs next to him, the bulb in his room filling his eyes with a light which makes them appear a lot clearer - like the sky in the day. "I'd take you grocery shopping."

"Fuck you! You know how much I hate doing that." Lucas slaps his arm, and Eliott laughs, catching Lucas's hands in his own. Lucas takes over, immediately lining up his hand against Eliott's, mapping the difference in size between the two. Eliott feels sparks running up the entire length of his arms.

"Afterwards I'll cook you a meal."

  
Lucas scoffs, "You will do no such thing! Knowing you, you'd probably burn water and then I'll have to take over. So as long as I am around, I'm not letting you step into the kitchen, ever!"

Eliott feels his voice again resorting to a whisper, one he can barely get his vocal chords to generate. "But you did let me try to make dinner for you that day."

Lucas shuffles, wrapping his small fingers around Eliott's, resting their intertwined hands between their bodies. He looks down for a second, "Because I was feeling extra generous. And because I was tired."

"I know."

Lucas looks up, fixing Eliott with his eyes. They're shining, Eliott notices, and there are currents sweeping in them, pulling him in. Eliott squeezes his hand, and a small smile breaks across Lucas's face.

"I never thanked you for that day. And for every day. You make things a little bit bearable for me."

"Just a little bit?"

"Fuck off!" Lucas uses his free hand to lightly push Eliott's chest, and Eliott, being the goner he is, wraps his own free hand around Lucas's, catching it between his beating heart and jittery palm.

"You make things a little bit bearable for me too."

Lucas flexes his fingers underneath Eliott's hands, and he responds by squeezing it lightly. Lucas moves closer, there's a smile reflecting from his eyes, crinkles forming underneath. Eliott can barely stop himself from moving closer.

It's a whisper when the voice breaks through Lucas's lips, "What would you do next?"

And he's gone - Eliott moves his head closer to Lucas's, and he responds by draping a leg over Eliott's long ones. They become a mess of limbs intertwined like vines around other plants do for support. Eliott can feel Lucas's warm breath on his face, his brain turning to mush, thoughts dissolving and evaporating like water from a hot surface. He lets go of Lucas's hands from his own, and they immediately wrap around his waist.

"I'll drop you home- _shut up_. And then - then I'll..."

"Then you'll what?" Lucas shuts his eyes, head raising up slightly. Eliott feels the brush of his nose against his before he feels his head dipping down, eyes closing, heart breaking lose. And it happens slowly - and it happens.

Warmth unfurls in his chest, in his stomach - nerves set themselves on fire when his lips brush Lucas's with the softest, most gentle pressure. Eliott's hands move around Lucas's neck, one sneaking under his head to pull him close, and he responds. Lucas moves in close, till he's all pressed against Eliott's chest, and Eliott can feel his heart against his, both beating the same rhythm, as the pressure between their lips increases ten folds, as their breathing increases and their teeth clash against one another.

And it's awkward, and it's messy - Eliott accidentally bites his tongue and Lucas _accidentally_ pinches his stomach - and they are laughing faces and awkward limbs, but Eliott doesn't mind - God, he does anything but mind.

So as he pulls Lucas close - his hands still resting on his cheeks which have become really warm - Lucas's eyes burn their light through him, and as Lucas presses a kiss to his nose and nuzzle his face in Eliott's neck, arms enclosing his waist, Lucas sighs, and it makes current rippling through Eliott's body.

"You could have done this on that day too, you know? Could have saved me all of this suffering that you put me through."

And Lucas's giggling, face split in two by the grin stretched across his face. Eliott feels the sound resonating in his ears, making a home in his heart.

"How was I supposed to know that you feel the same way about me as I do about you, smartass? And fuck, your speech about friends and fucking feelings earlier. It put me off even more. Like I was convinced out of my mind that you didn't like me."

Lucas looks at him, his bottom lip tucked under his teeth. Eliott pulls at his chin, and he lets it go, "Don't blame anything on me! It's all your fault that I said any of that in the first place! _I_ thought that _you_ didn't feel anything for me."

Eliott feels his heart burst, his stomach twist, and his mind singing as calm descends upon him. Lucas looks at him with his big blue, holding everything from the sky to the bottomless ocean, now holding his heart too.

"I'm sorry," Eliott whispers, hands raking around Lucas's neck, foreheads pressed together, noses brushing against each other. "I was a dumbass, I'm really sorry."

Lucas snorts, mumbling something, and Eliott surges forward, biting Lucas's lips in an attempt to silent the laugh which seems to be just at the tip of Lucas's tongue. Eliott feels his own smile breaking on his lips, which soon get covered by Lucas's own - a hunger dissolving all of Eliott's thoughts, hands caressing, moving across his back.

And they haven't talked about everything yet, and they haven't figured out everything yet. And soon that time will come too, where they'd set this into something definite, something which is not a fleeting moment.

But that's okay, because on this night, in Lucas's bed, as the light above covers them in a hue which will stay with them for the rest of the time - Lucas is Eliott's smartass, and Eliott will happily be Lucas's dumbass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this is the end for these two dumbasses. i had so much fun writing them and i hope you'd like them too. feedback is always appreciated 
> 
> find me on tumblr: @[demauryss](https://demauryss.tumblr.com)


	4. and heaven is in sight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this is something inspired by a prompt sent to me on tumblr. i always imagined eliott confessing his love to lucas in this universe absolutely out of nowhere, so here it goes. 
> 
> also posted on [tumblr](https://demauryss.tumblr.com/post/614125312041730048/hi-if-youre-still-doing-the-ways-to-say-i). title from 'every tear is a waterfall' by coldplay.
> 
> happy reading :))

lucas doesn’t have much experience with medical situations. mika never gets sick (surprisingly, given his unhealthy habits). and lucas doesn’t know anything about lisa, her being as secretive as russian spy.

as for him, whenever he got sick with cold or something remotely mild, he’d put his phone on silent (not that he had anyone talking to him. well, except eliott), swallow an anti-allergic pill, cover his head with blankets and would bid the world good-bye for as long as the medicine would work.

that was before he had someone to take care of him, or someone he’d take care of. but now he has eliott, someone who had sat beside him on the cold bathroom floor as lucas emptied his stomach out in the toilet, a result of eating bad take-out food with mika (who slept soundly). someone who’d cuddled him close as he shivered all night. someone who’d periodically check up on him even after the many times lucas would assert that he can take care of himself.

someone like eliott, who now lays shivering under a mount of blankets, the sweater which lucas forced him into, raised up to his ears, sniffling once every two seconds. 

lucas had received a text from eliott when he’d left, telling to let himself in when he arrived. he’d found eliott fast asleep on the sofa, but his body was shivering. lucas had pressed the back of his hand to eliott’s forehead, and found it burning.

“_lucas?_” eliott had whispered from underneath the thin blanket. his voice was low and weak, and lucas stomach had churned.   


“_you’re burning, eliott_,” lucas had whispered, looking for the thermometer eliott keeps in the kitchen cabinets. when he’d arrive back into the living room, eliott was sitting with his back resting against the couch, shoulders dropping and dark bags weighing his eyes down.  


“_it’s just a slight fever, lucas.”_ eliott had managed to say, voice no louder than a few octaves. “_i’ll take a paracetamol and it’ll go away.”_  


the _slight fever_ was well over a hundred fahrenheit, as the thermometer displayed. lucas had somehow managed to get him up and into the bed, covering him with something which would keep him warm. now he stands in the kitchen, making some soup for eliott.

lucas makes his way to eliott’s bedroom and sits beside his shivering form, placing the bowl of soup on the side table. “baby?” he whispers, gently nudging his shoulders. eliott lets out a whine before stirring. “eliott, please get up. you need to eat this before you take the medicine.” 

eliott groans weakly as he buries his face into the pillow. lucas pokes him again with his finger, letting out a small laugh as eliott removes the blanket from his face and glares at lucas with his swollen eyes.

“but lucas,” he croaks out, eyeing the soup now sitting in lucas’s hands, “i don’t like soup.”  


lucas nods, “i know baby. but please eat some, for me?”

eliott sighs loudly, removing the blankets and sitting up. lucas smiles as eliott slumps against lucas, head resting on his shoulder. 

“eliott,” lucas giggles, holding the bowl so it won’t spill, “how am i supposed to feed you like this?”  


“i don’t know,” eliott whines, but he does sit up a bit higher, turning his body towards lucas. lucas feeds him spoonfuls after spoonfuls of the soup despite eliott’s complains after each one that he’s had enough. but somehow lucas ends up with eliott eating more than half of the bowl. (he does say ‘last one, i promise’ every time eliott complains, which is, like, on each spoonful.)  


lucas gives eliott a glass of water and some cold medicine, which eliott swallows without a sound. 

“tuck me in?” eliott looks up at lucas, widening his eyes. lucas shakes his head, smiling as he tucks the blanket around eliott’s form. eliott smiles, eyes half-open as lucas steps back, “what?”  


“nothing,” eliott drags out the word. lucas figures the medicine must be kicking in. “you are so good.”  


lucas tries to keep his expression neutral as heat rises up his neck, dissolving in his cheeks. he picks up the bowl from the side table, bending to lightly press his lips on eliott’s forehead, “go to sleep, baby. i’ll be in the living room.”

lucas straightens, watching as eliott closes his eyes. as he’s beginning to turn around, there’s a hand on his arm, fingers clutching at his shirt. lucas stops, heart in his throat at eliott’s weak voice, “do you hear me, lucas? you’re good. you’re just so good to me. i don’t deserve it.”

he sounds broken. and so frail. lucas bends down, placing the bowl where he picked it up from. he places a hand over eliott’s finger clutching at the sleeve of lucas’s jacket, “that’s the medicine talking in you, eliott. please go to sleep?”

his voice is none above a small whisper when he says it, eyes open and staring into lucas with all that he has, “no, i need you. stay here, with me. please lucas. i love you.”

lucas swallows. his heart leaves his rib cage. eliott stares up at him, somehow unaware of the turmoil lucas falls under. unaware of the hoard in his stomach. unaware of the shaking of his legs.

lucas had imagined many ways this could have gone: eliott telling him he loves him. this situation - eliott on a high fever and loopy from cold medicine - addmitedly, was none of the ways he thought of.

still, lucas takes a hold of his trembling body as he slides in next to eliott. as lucas winds his hands around eliott’s body. as eliott curls himslef into lucas’s side. as his lips brush the skin on lucas’s neck in a small kiss.

_stay_, it says. _okay_, lucas breathes back


End file.
